What is a normal family theses days? Part 3.

     For my area of research surrounding families I have decided to delve deeper into the family dynamic of nuclear "traditional", single parent, blended, and same-sex families. In this part of my research I decided to interview people from these various family dynamics in order to get a better look at these family situations that we as children did not choose to be in. Hopefully these interviews will dispel rumors about some of these family situations like a common one I hear: Do children from same-sex families turn out gay? By dispelling rumors I hopefully will be able to change some of the opinions of my readers or reinforce what they already knew.
     The nuclear "traditional" family is when the house consists of a father, mother, and children. The basic normal family. I want to dispel these "traditional" values in this dynamic because since the 1950's saying traditional family meant good christian values and keeping your dirty laundry in the closet away from sight. And even today there are right-wing politicians trying to get elected because they care about "traditional" values in America. But in my opinion the "tradition" means exactly that traditions that have been past throughout the family.
     Kiara Chavez is a seventeen year old living in Los Angeles with her father and mother. "Well if a traditional family is a father, mother and children than I am from a traditional family. When you ask about values it is because our values were created through our Mexican culture."
     The Mexican culture she is talking about is within hispanic-latino families because most hispanic families are Catholics so in this sub category it combines religion and the strong sense of family connection within the latino culture.
     Blended families are when the house is consisting of a parent re-marrying another person who also has children of their own. A big issue that people don't understand is in blended families is the sense of being an outcast because there the odd man out because of their step siblings. And the issue of getting along with step-parents.
     Karla Sanchez is a nineteen year old, and also my ex-step sibling. She lives with her father, two sisters, and a brother. But in the years of 1997-2008 my mother and I lived with her family. "Well when my dad married your mom, my mom got married and I had a step-dad and step brothers. I mean at first when I was younger it was weird for me because I saw my parents with other people. It was really difficult to get along with my step mom (my mother) because I was living with my mom mostly and I felt like if i got along with my step mom I would be betraying her."
     Coming from a blended family myself I had the same feelings as well. When you are in the blended family most kids are also jumping back and forth between parents on the weekends. I always got the dreaded question from my father "How's your mom and Richard? (ex-step father)" For some kids they feel like they are choosing sides the parent they live with or the one they see on the weekends.
     Same sex families is when the house consists of two fathers or two mothers in the modern era of the 2000's same sex families are on the rise because certain state governments are now choosing to recognize them as regular families. But with the acceptance there is still people believing that there families are not real and feel that children in these families are at risk.
     Elena (does not want last name published) is a seventeen year old living in a religious right suburb called Temecula, CA. She comes from a same-sex family. She lives with her two mothers. Elena is also my ex, I found out she came from a same sex family when I first went to her house to pick her up for a date. To my surprise I didn't have to meet the father but two overbearing mothers. "I was adopted when I was younger so growing up this was normal to me. I can say just because you live with same sex parents doesn't mean you'll turn out gay. I feel  like because I have two moms I am more accepting of people and their differences."
     Someone's sexual orientation is not a reflection of someone's family situation so if you have two moms or a mom and a dad it is irrelevant to your sexuality. I was raised by a mother and a step father and I am a openly gay man. Elena was raised by two mother's and she's a heterosexual woman.
     Single parent dynamics are when one parents raises the children. In these modern times single parent dynamics are mostly single mothers. These single parents usually raise their children in what I call the "between marriage" times it is the time between the ending of the last marriage till the next marriage.
     If you have been consistently reading you already know that I was raised by my mother. My mothers "between marriage" years were 1995-1997 and 2008-2012.
     Irma Torres is a 41 year old mother of two. She was raised with her seven other siblings by her single mother. And she is my mother. "Being raised by a single mother sort of prepared me when I became a single parent. My mother worked hard to support me and my siblings but she could only so much so I decided to get a job and help out as much I could when I was 14. Because I was raised by my mother I gained a strong sense of independence. When I became a single parent I was only raising one child (me) it was still hard because I was working late shifts and couldn't spend as much time with my child than I would have liked to."
     Being a only child of a single parent when I turned fourteen was difficult on me because I would get back from school to an empty home and wait till 7p.m. for my mother to get back from work but during those four years I became self reliant and independent. I learned how to basically take care of myself. The children of single parent families tend to have a stronger sense of independence because they raised themselves and if they had younger siblings they took care of them too.
     To my readers I hope my interviews of children from the various dynamics have changed or reinforced your opinions about the dynamics that you have never been a part of. In doing this you as my reader hopefully will have this new found knowledge and will be able to understand your peers who don't come from a traditional father and mother household.
   

What is a normal family these days? Part 2.

     In my first blog post I had introduced to you my subject field that I will be studying; the family dynamic and how children are or if they are affected by the situation. I have also took my peers comments on my last blog into consideration and how I will be conducting my research. In this blog I will write down more information I have found out about the family dynamics that I will be researching about. Also a reflection on one of reader's comment.
     In viewing and reading my comments a comment by V.E.Haro suggested I should also investigate the family dynamic of same-sex families and demystify the negative stereotypes and allow myself to become an insider. I really enjoyed this comment because it has allowed me to expand my research than typical normal heterosexual family dynamic and hopefully I would be able to interview a same-sex family and their children. This is important I think because my readers who I assume are most likely coming from a heterosexual family dynamic and myself as well are not entirely sure or educated on the same-sex family and issues they face because they break the confounds of what is considered a "normal" society.
     Before getting into the family dynamics that I am researching, I decided to write what I know. What I know is a single parent and blended family dynamic order. My parents were divorced since I was three and I ended up living with my mother. The single parent dynamic is pretty self explanatory: a single parent raising their child(s). Since they age of three my mother raised me, and for that I have the most utmost respect for her. The single parent dynamic has stereotypes associated with it especially surrounding single mothers. The stereotypes of a single mother are that the father left for his reasons, she was a young mother, and she has multiple "baby daddies" these stereotypes stem from the inner-city something I know all to well. When my mother got divorced we ended up moving with relatives in what you might consider that "bad parts" of Los Angeles. In L.A. these stereotypes are sort of true, young girls with their mothers raising their own children, young fathers in gangs trying to support their family.
     The children of this dynamic in the "bad area" are what society calls the future delinquents, the wasted youth, and the inmates of America. I reflect on my own life and in all seriousness I could have been one of those wasted youths in the inner-city if it wasn't for my mother's decision to get herself and I out of the "ghetto" and move to a suburban "white" area. I now graduated from high school and now attending college, something most of my cousins from the inner-city couldn't do.
     Another dynamic I know is the blended family: when a family consists of two blended families, consisting of step parents. My mother eventually got re-married to a man who to this day I still consider my father, not a step-parent. In my blended family It was my mother and I, my step-father and his four children. I was raised with this blended family from the age of five to 15. Those ten years were mixed feelings because I was already an outsider because of my step-siblings.
     For children of this dynamic it is very difficult to adjust to because they have to change their whole life because they are gaining a new parent and possibly new siblings. It also depends on the age of which the blended family is introduced at the older the age the harder the adjustment rather the younger you are the easier it is. Also because you are trying to respect your new step parent. There will be conflicts amongst the children of each parent and conflict between child and step parent.

What is a normal family these days?

     For my culture to study in anthropology I have decided to study the concept of family. Though I was wondering what sort of family dynamic to I want to study. There are many different family dynamics nuclear families, extended families, single parent families, and same sex families. With many different dynamics in the modern age of 2012 what constitutes as a traditional family?

     In order to study the various family dynamics I hope to be able to interview the children raised in different family dynamics. My goal is not to figure out and prove that one dynamic is the best dynamic or that only one could serve as traditional and true to family values. My goal is to open a door to my readers who come from various dynamics and give them an inside to the other dynamics. 

     The one family dynamic that truly intrigues me is the "traditional" nuclear family; father, mother, child(s). I am  an on-looker, an observer from the outside when it comes to the nuclear family. My personal opinion is that children from this type of dynamic tend to be more happy, optimistic, and almost ignorant (not to offend anyone). I have friends who are offspring of the nuclear family and they usually tend to display said traits. I find it interesting though when I hang out with these friends and I just observe them and how they interact with one another. When I watch them it is sort of watching some sort of old sitcom like Leave It to Beaver, with June baking a pie, Ward reading the newspaper in the office, and Wally and Beaver playing ball in the front yard.

     Why does the nuclear dynamic peak my interests? Well I was born into a traditional, catholic, and nuclear family. Unfortunately things happen and and when I was the age of 3 my parents split leaving my mother to raise me. And of course the years went on and my mother married an other man, and I was raised with 4 step-siblings as well, I was the odd man out. Then my mother got another divorce and now I back to the single-parent. 

     My perspective on everything has changed drastically, maybe I could just be a pessimistic person, but I want to know how these various dynamics effect children could it be for the worse? or the better? Are conservatives telling the truth that for you to be successful is to be raised in a family with a father and mother or can you can you have two dads or two moms and be just fine. Are children from single-parent families destined to the state's juvenile delinquents. Well in my research I hope to demystify the stereotypes and show the many dynamics of family.